I just got a call from Mr. C. It was a disturbing call... not disturbing in a bad way, but disturbing as in I was about to go to sleep and then you call me and wake me up and make me get out of bed and propose something to me that - I CAN'T SLEEP NOW... so must blog my feelings because I'm emo like that. It was a disturbing call because in the beginning he took a lot of time to get to the point of the matter, and all the while, I was panicking wondering what he was trying to get at.

A lot has happened since the last brief entry with Thomas's baptism... and I've been ultimately lazy to update on any recent happenings although all the entries have been backlogging in my brain and not actually making it out onto the www.

But anyway, back to the point I wanted to write about. I'm really amazed at how God has worked and is working in my life. I think I've always wanted to write a post something like this, but never got round to it, and the call from Mr. C really sparked me to write this.

I believe that God has a purpose for each and everyone of us. Some of you may or may not know that highschool really sucked for me. It sucked because I remember it rained a lot and I don't like rain, and when it rained - we got greasy hair, and greasy hair touching the face means - oily face - and oily face is just eww. It also sucked because I suck at maths and chemistry - so that was a poo. It wasn't so much that I was in the "un-popular group" or that I was bullied - in fact I wasn't. Highschool was just bland with absolutely no salt and pepper at all! I never knew my life would turn out the way that it has now with salt and pepper AND chives, chilli and belachan. How abundant it is, how full it is and how awesome true friendships can be and seriously how much fun you can have!

I would pray numerous times that God would give me friends - and good Christian friends to fellowship with. I obviously couldn't share things with people that haven't come to God's salvation because they wouldn't understand where I'm coming from. So for a time, I had all these bottled up feelings with no one to share with. I knew God was great from the beginning and that He was going to make my life awesome and purposeful. I didn't want to travel down the path that some of my friends went down - with clubbing and drinking and smoking etc living a worldy and lifeless life with no purpose. Psht... who likes clubbing anyway. Don't even get me started. *rolls eyes* And I realise what I say may offend some - but well, you need to hear it MKAY!

This year alone, I've been involved in organsing Zion Food Fest and Search for a Star which were two pretty big productions. It took a lot of time out from my schedule and when I got to work, my mind was pretty much focused on these things in the back of my mind. I really learnt a lot on the way and really got to bond with the people I worked with.

What touched me most was the absolute abundance of words of encouragement I got from everyone. I won't forget words that came out of those who have encouraged me and pushed me to be the best and cream of the crop. Being in highschool and even partially at university level, I have low low self esteem, can't make a decision for my life (as Miss Lau would know). People who even hardly knew me would give me a word of encouragement. One of the Sunday's after church, Miss O came to me and said to me, "Sue-Anne, I think this is really your calling. You really have a gifting in this area." I was so gobsmacked. Miss O hardly knows me at all and for her to see that - I was so encouraged. To Mr L who also hardly knows me, "Just tot of ya and wanted to let you know that am proud of you and blessed by you... SFAS was such a magnificent way of God displaying the beauty of His creations. And you are a light in this world." During my conversation with Mr C, he said, "I believe in you and will support you all the way." Geng the meng la, this Mr C also doesn't know me too well and can say such a bold statement like that. Even Pastor Patrick came to me and said after my tithes and offering sharing ... well he said a lot of things, but he said, "When I see a talent, I know one - and I see that talent in you...and there will be a next time!" To have your own Pastor believe in you is something - well it means a lot to me anyway that he is willing to put me in leadership positions even though he can't remember my name. ngek ngek.

God is a funny fellow too! After the conversation with Mr. C - He knew I wouldn't be able to sleep and that I would go online and blog all of this. So He sent me an email which said, "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10 Isn't God the GREATEST encourager of all!!! Too right I was laying in bed after the phone call with Mr. C wondering what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do it and what I got myself into AGAIN! - but He has delivered me from my fears.

Anyway, THANKS to all my encouragers. You give me confidence and you make my knees shake in fear - except, as I said above - God has already delivered me from that! huhu.

I never believed in myself - but maybe I should really start to. I guess in the end, it really comes down to whether you believe in yourself or not. And whether you allow yourself to believe in yourself, especially when others believe in you. Sometimes, we are masked and can't see our own talents, only to be told time and again that we are "really good at something."

Everyone can organise an event - but to organise an event well... I don't know. Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist and expect that from everyone else working for me and with me to have that standard as well. Maybe I'm too finicky about things that I can't decide whether I like the green or the yellow - but then again, green always wins! And I'm definetly not a negotiator or one to talk to authorities as Ms C would know all too well!

Anyway, if I get elected (hoho - sounds like something political) - all Glory to God because he has made my life so full - like full cream milk! I'm all jittery now thinking about from now till the end of the year... my mind will go into explosive chaos over the next two weeks - but never fear God is here... and I believe day light savings time tells me that my bed time is WAYYY over due. Time check: 12:05am. Do Australians ever sleep this late?

Good night!