today...

Today - almost got myself in another car crash on Vahland Ave. Caused me to freaking hyperventilate in the car afterwards, and realise how close I came to a serious car crash, going at 70km/ph.

Actually, to be honest, I think I'm still traumatised from the last one. Don't know why it has affected me so much. Maybe it was just the sandwich effect. I keep having flashbacks to that moment, and every time I do, I make the *tsk* noise with my tongue. I hate driving, especially on Vahland Ave and Leach Hwy. It's just like a street sitting there waiting for an accident to happen. I can't say much about Manning Rd either, because I had a car crash there too. =( There's no other way I can get to work other than Leach Hwy or Manning Rd. I get ridiculously anxious on Leach Hwy every morning. It's terrible.

Today, it's mothers day. I didn't really do anything too special with my mum. Went out to lunch with her and my sis on Saturday, and bought her flowers today. I think she was happy. We don't even have a nice vase for flowers. I think I shall buy one. Flowers make me happy.

Anyway, while in church - I was quite moved about some of the stories shared, particularly one little girl - whose mother is actually one of my colleagues too! (I never realised!) Anyway, the little girl was sharing about how her mother has deposited so many dreams in her heart. Taking up swimming lessons, to hopefully become an olympian one day, piano lessons, cello lessons, tuition etc etc etc.

I know my parents, my mum also had hopes and dreams for me. To play the piano - like every other Asian parent. But that was an epic fail. I couldn't do it. To go to Chinese school - like every other Asian parent raising ABC kids. That was another epic fail. I couldn't do it. I hate disappointing my parents but I guess in the end, my parents have always just wanted us to be happy. They were never too pushy, and in some ways, I wish they made us persevere more.

There are so many times, when mum will ask me what I want to eat and cook it for me, not even asking my brother or sister what they want to eat. Makes me feel special as if she's cooking only for me, to make me happy.

There are times when I'm sick and would be sleeping home all day, and she'd come home and make me a lemon and honey drink, give me a panadol to calm my fever and ruffle my blanket. It's a nice feeling when you're being looked after by your mum.

She knows I love camera stuff so much that on two separate occassions, she has actually bought the wrong camera for me. But it's alright, as long as she bought the right brand, I'm cool with it. =)

Recently, I've noticed that mum even knows my favourite colour is green. She knows I hate bitter guard and ginger - even though she insists that when I get pregnant she will cook ginger dishes for me all day long. =( She knows I don't really like the cheena kinda veges too much, yet she still hides them under the rice in my lunchbox! *sneaky* Even things that I don't realise she knows, she knows. I guess that's the beauty of a mother isn't it?

Overall, I realised how old my parents have become, yet I'm still amazed at how gung-ho they are in the way they live out their social life, the way they approach work without complaint and general house duties. I only hope that I can grow up to be as gung-ho as they are.

I know they litterally gave up everything for us. Moved to Australia, not even knowing English, not knowing the laws, starting with nothing and working their way up. For that, we can never repay, we can only make their retirement so comfortable and make them proud, that they didn't leave their life behind in vain.

I ♥ my mum, and dad.

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